Growing up, most of my friends were my juniors. In their midst i was always the oldest or close to with probably a year or two difference. And because of that, i always felt too ”matured” so to speak. I didn’t behave and act the way they did. Our train of thoughts were always apart. Our attitudes were quite different. I don’t even know how we managed to remain friends when we didn’t have so much in common.[They are called childhood friends for a reason and most times they are family/church friends]. When we got to a certain age, we went our seperate ways.
As i grew up and went through school, the same trend continued i found myself again among younger people. Buh this time, instead of being so uptight and condescending, i loosened up! I let myself live. I didn’t care. I let them tease and pull my legs. i let them love and condemn me. I let them share hugs and kisses. I bascially turned tables and became the ”baby” among them. I’m so glad i did because i made AMAZING friends back in school. But it wasn’t all rosy. There were often clashes. I had (still have) issues with those with ”low IQ”.Those that are sluggish and non-challant put me off completely! Infact that was the main reason for some ”failed” friendships! Those that give so much attention to worthless things irritate me. I’m very particular about the sort of people that are around me because i feel they should be able to uphold and stand in the gap for me and vice versa. I have high expectations because i believe my friends are part of me. They need to be able to inspire me[and vice versa]. We need to have common interests and go crazy whenever we feel like. We need to be able to appreciate each other and share similar values. I need to be able to call you @ 3am and talk. LOL. That’s why i don’t have too many friends. Too much responsibility.
Friendships are platforms for involvements in other people’s lives to make tangible differences. [positively or negatively]. And because they play a major role in our lives; as their influence cannot be avoided, i think we need to pay attention to the kind of people we hang out with.
P.S: Don’t mind me. Once we bond, we shouldn’t have issues.
How are y’all doing?
”Oh you look so much like your mom. Anytime i see you, i see her and vice-versa.” I get this a lot!!!
My mom and i look totally alike that most times;when we are together no-one needs to ask whether i’m her daughter. They just keep staring. One will think with so much resemblance we will have so much in common. I wish!
My mom & i are so alike yet different. I think the only thing we share is our looks. Apart from that i can really think of anything else right now. We’re different in almost everything and because of this we tend to disagree a lot. Most times,i always want to have my way buh she comes out with a theory of why it should go her way. I take that as a motherly behaviour and so i don’t argue. There are times it gets to a peak that i let it all out. At that time,i really don’t care whether or not she’s my mum. I just wanna say my mind!
Moving on, I remember growing up on my own. I have two brothers after me so she almost totally ignored me. While my brothers were getting the whole TLC,i was on my own fending for myself. My dad was(is) MIA. He was like a mannequin in the house. I learnt almost everything on my own! Saved up my pocket money to buy makeup,novels,jewellery and almost everything i possessed. I even taught myself to cook. (i can’t stand staying in the kitchen with her). The only thing she bought were clothes,shoes and a couple of necessities. Anyways, i wasn’t so bothered, i learnt to take care of myself fast! I was independent in my own little way. She also wasn’t so involved in my personal life. I had a way of putting her @ arm’s length. So she knew absolutely nothing. She wasn’t even aware of my relationships. I ALWAYS confided in my best friend.(God Bless Dayo!). You can imagine growing up like that so it has kinda become part of me. Even till now,there are still so many things i don’t tell her. That ‘mother-daughter relationship’ is so faint.
Anyways, I’m kinda happy with the person i’ve turned out to be. Even without being my mum’s best friend,i still turned out well. I have God,Church,School and my best friend to thank. I was always very cautious, still am. I’ve instilled values and standards in myself. I have a sense of direction and a mind of my own. I can’t settle for less! With all this,my mom should be happy for me….if only she knew. She hardly gives me audience. She soo annoying so i keep everything to myself.
Notwithstanding,i love my mum. Amean she’s like both parents to me now and she brought me to this world. Even though i’ve secretly wished my aunt was my mom. We’re totally on the same level and she gets me. We have this level of understanding and we also look a lot alike! People always think i’m her daugther when we’re out together and she’s so quick to claim me. LOL.
Oh! Church was awesome today! Particularly because i could relate to the topic. We had a talk show where we discussed ‘Association’. Different people had different views on how we as Believers should relate with Unbelievers in every aspect of our lives.
The issue of Friendships and Relationships is what took my interest. We are supposed to be particular about our circle of friends. We should drop anyone that isn’t making a positive impact on our lives;friends that don’t have the same values as you do and friends that don’t make you a better person both physically and spirituarly.
Just last year, i blogged about how Ive been disconnected from my friends due to new priorities and was feeling quite lonely. Unknown to me, i had dropped them because we didn’t share similar values you know. I attended a Christian High school and unconsciously retained the teachings and values instilled in me. Probably because i renewed my relationship with God when i graduated.
I’m a strong believer in the quote ‘Show me your friend and i’ll tell you who you are’ and also ‘Bad communication corrupts Good manners’. I strongly believe friendships are one of the most important things in life after God and family. The type of friends you have around you can either make or mar you.
I’m a very friendly person. I love having people around me. Buh i’ve come to realise less is better. You will agree with me that so many teenagers and youths have been mislead by their friends one way or the other. As a result of this, there’s a high rate of crime and immorality because everybody wants to be among. No one wants to be left out.
Now i’ve decided i’m gonna have as few friends as possible and more of acquintances. I have a great future ahead of me and i don’t need anyone to disrupt God’s plan for me. And for that to happen, i’m gonna have to cut off anything or anyone that will cause me to succumb to peer pressure. It’s not supposed to be an easy thing buh i know God is gonna help me.
I hope you will too. 🙂