Don’t Touch Me!

So a couple of days ago, after waiting a long while, I couldn’t contain my craving for Boli (Roasted plantain) anymore, I set out to get some. As I was waiting for the woman selling to attend to me, this random guy that had been hitting on me for a while now just came from nowhere and placed his hand on my shoulder and before I could say Jack Robinson, I screamed ”Don’t touch me!!!!!!”. The dude removed his hand instantly.

Honestly I have no idea where that came from. No, I think I do. I don’t like being touched for any random reason. Gosh! Don’t touch me! Yes, I could get really touchy and it’s not very pretty. I literally cringe when anyone including my friends touch me. Feranmi can testify to this. He probably also thinks I’m weird or something. LOL. No but really, I don’t particularly appreciate being touched especially if we not involved in any way. Even at that, I always keep people at arm’s length. I think the only time I feel comfortable with being touched is when I feel emotionally safe and secure with the person. Then I can open up and maybe allow you to some extent. Other than that, please control yourself. Besides, I think it’s disrespectful really, especially if you’re not well acquainted with someone and then after every little thing, you have to touch to make emphasis, please you should seek help. I find it weird really.

This is one pet-peeve I do not take lightly.

How about you? Do you mind being touched (un)necessarily?

Toodles
EB.

Food For Thought

Not — How did he die?
But — How did he live?
These are the units to measure the worth of a man, regardless of birth.

Not — What was his station
But — Had he a heart?
And — How did he play his God-given part?
Was he ever ready with a word of good cheer, to bring back a smile, to banish a tear?

Not — What was his shrine?
Nor — What was his creed?
But — Had he befriended those really in need?
Not — What did the sketch in the newspaper say?
But — How many were sorry when he passed away?

– Anon

Culled from God’s Little Devotional for Graduates.

*Happy New Month!*

xoxo

Title?!! No Idea. Really.

How Y’all Doing?!

Uhm…this is more of a rant or ramble so to speak with no particular sequence ( i dunno maybe it might end up arranged or something) and is not directed to anyone. It’s just how i feel.

I think i’m the most misunderstood person in the world. Ok maybe not in the world,in Lagos. *sigh. Maybe not. Whatever. As simple and as straightforward as i am, no one seems to understand my intentions. I’m barely capable of doing evil because as much as i fear the repercussions,i love my life. I try to be really nice to people. Really! And caring too. Yeah i actually am. I love my friends to bits even though i could be more self-centered. Who isn’t?! I don’t have to call or text them everyday to show it. In my heart,i’m praying for them and hoping things turn out well for them. Really. What then is the problem?! From time to time i ask myself. Can’t someone just sit down and understand me and not just assume?! What’s so hard?! Try and study me,talk to me. I’m not a monster. You cannot be absent in my life and then show up one day thinking you’ll meet the same person you left. There’s something called Growing.Up, Maturing. Like they say change is the only constant thing. This i think is one of the many causes of disagreement.

The one and only best friend i’ve had totally became a stranger almost a year ago. Yeah. Towards the end of our friendship,we dated for a couple of months (Totally wrong move) even before that,our relationship had already began deteriorating. I guess we were growing too fast and we couldn’t keep up with each other. LOL. So funny. Even with that i thought he was gonna be my BFF (Best Friend Forever). I even confessed i couldn’t live without him. Hmm. Such Irony. I dunno. I guess we just grew apart. Neither of us took time to understand and acknowledge the people we were becoming. We grew more and more distant. All forms of communication always ended in a fight. I was tired. I missed the old him. He was the only person that understood how much i didn’t enjoy cooking. LOL. He was someone i could call and talk to @ 2am. I wasn’t even bothered about my parents. In all he was the only person that truly understood who the person ‘Ebun’ was. He was basically part of me. Yeah in past tense. How sad. Then we broke up. That was basically the end of our 8yr friendship. Buh i needed to get over him so i cut all forms of contact. And till date we haven’t really talked. The funny thing was we talked about us towards the end buh it was too late you know. We were both done trying.

Right now,i think it’s taking a toll on me. I’m yet to recover even after a year. And i cannot believe it. I always boast of being a superhuman. I can handle almost anything that comes my way. Hmm. Indeed. I think right now i’m yet to find that person that’s ready to actually be a friend. I always say true friendships are the best thing that can happen to anyone. It’s Priceless. And for me it’s a big deal. It’s not something that should be toiled with because even parents as far as i’m concerned can’t give them to you. Really.

So because of that i’ve basically had problems with people around me and i’ve had to endure. Honestly,i miss my best friend. Life was so much easier with him. There’s nothing as blissful as having someone who knows so much about you and accepts you just the way you are. Again it’s Priceless.

*deep sigh*

x.

#DearFuturePartner Take Note III

Yo! How y’all doing?! 🙂

I bring you once again for the last time the final part of this series. Ok, so let’s get started.

1. Change one bad habit that negatively affects your relationship. It need not be extreme. Small positive changes can have a big impact.
2. Boys, all that a girl wants is an assurance that you’ll always take care of her and do anything for her happiness.
3. Bad manners aren’t attractive. Turn up on time for a date,put your phone on silent and do say a thank you for a wonderful time before leaving.
4. Go down on your knees and tell him you can’t live without him. No not with a ring ofcourse, just to make him feel special. LOL.
5. He wants to be the one who makes you smile or laugh so laugh at any attempt of humour. He’ll be very glad.
6. Notice everything about your partner,look for the great things,keep your mind filled with fabulous traits and characteristics.
7. Not only compliment her but say nice things to people around her. This will show your positive side to her.
8. Look into the eyes of your partner with deep interest. Look for a lengthy eye contact during conversations. He will get the hint that you like him; that’s if you do anyway.
9. Look for signs like frequent blinking and fluttering eyelashes to know you’re heading in the right direction. She likes you back. LOOOOL.
10. Let out the real you. Don’t try being a person you think your date will like. Afterall you don’t want him to fall for the false version.
11. Keep the 1st date short and simple, so that if you don’t like each other you won’t have to go through a seven-course meal together.
12. Just understand that not every date idea will work for everyone. Before planning some kind of outdoor date make sure she’s the outdoor type.
13. Just as important as asking questions is how you listen to your date. Listening skills are more than just waiting for your turn to talk.
14. In the age of emails and social networks, a love letter is a rarity. So put forward your feelings elegantly through written words and seal with a kiss.

*Phew! Really after all these, my point is you can actually have a relationship and at the same time have a swell time without sex. Yes! By the time you both sit down,put heads together and make plans for like let say a year you won’t even have time to think about it. The fun will be so exciting and overwhelming. You’ll be looking forward to a lot of things and time you’ll spend together. Really! Young people y’all need to be more creative and i know you are y’all are just LAZY! Yes! If you have a tight schedule just squeeze out time for your partner and just TALK. I promise you it will go a long way in improving your relationship and if you can’t just stay away. There’s no crime in being single. You don’t have to join the bandwagon. Really!

Alright y’all my work here is done.
x

The Evolution

How Y’all Doing?!

I promise i’m in a better mood today. 🙂

Like every normal regular child my reading culture has evolved. From Enid Blyton to short stories to Literature books to M&B and now Christian Fiction. I think over the years i’ve developed a flair for reading and because of that i’m very particular about the things i read. I was more drawn to Romance than any other genre. History was just bleh and Sci-Fi was just too difficult to comprehend. LOL. As usual my half-sister has had the hugest (any word like that?) influence on me despite the very short period we lived together and this is one of them. I guess it’s normal right?!

Anyways one night some years ago, i woke up to my sister reading a Sidney Sheldon novel yeah i remember. We used to share a room then. At first i was digusted wondering what was kept her till that time of the night. I think she used a torch or something. (No wonder she developed Night Blindness *rme). Well the next morning,i picked up the book, you know the regular 500 pages or so (Is it?! Now i’ve forgotten *sigh) and glanced through it. I dunno out of curiosity i guess. Anyways i dropped it quickly because the size scared me. I couldn’t imagine reading something of that magnitude. Later one, (my sister had a couple with her at that time) i mistakenly saw an Harlequin novel in her wardrobe. You know the size, less than 200 pages and the front cover and title was quite captivating i must confess. So that was how it began, i read all my sister’s books including the Sidney Sheldon i was afraid of and even surpassed her. I used the greater part of my pocket money to buy novels and i grew. From Harlequin which was kinda an inspirational romance to M&B to Sidney Sheldon to Mary Higgins Clark to Danielle Steel name it. Anyone i could lay my hands on. Infact it got to a time that back then in school i became a distributor. LOL. Yeah. Some even fought me over it. I owned over 50 novels and my mom NEVER knew till date. Wow! I was that secretive and it became an addiction. Bad bad girl!

The turning point came yeah it did. I was with a family friend one day, yeah my mom’s boss,we were quite close so i could move around the house as i wished. That very day,i came across a huge library,not that i hadn’t seen it before,i just didn’t pay attention. I was curious to know what sort of books were stocked so i picked one up and it was a Karen Kingsbury book. The cover and title was quite intriguing so i sat down and read the first page. Wow! That night i took 3 books home and 2 days later i returned them for another set. I read them continuously,steadfastly,all day,all night. My mom didn’t even bother me because she knew i had to return them. They were in series so i couldn’t stop. Before the end of the month i was done with all the books in that library and i’m not exaggerating. Mainly Karen Kingsbury and a bit of Lori Wick. My zeal had moved from romance to Christian Fiction. I was practically addicted. Now that’s a good thing.

I didn’t actually stop reading Mills & Boons until i heard a sermon. Pastor Ronke said it was written pornography (How could i not have known?! SMH) maybe because i was more interested in the storyline than the actual description. Yes! Take it or leave it! Mary Higgins Clark makes it look like a crime story. *rme. Anyways after the sermon i made up my mind not to read a novel again. Apart from the fact that i was trying to actually have a relationship with God, i wasn’t interested in messing my head and my mind. So i let go. Mind you, i have short-term amnesia,i hardly ever remember anything that isn’t important and No, i don’t have a distorted perspective on love and romance. I perfectly know what i want and what i can accept. So right now i try as much as possible to read anything Godly and inspiration that will have a positive influence on my life.

Like they say, started from the bottom,now we are here.
My work here is done 🙂
x.

P.S: i just gave out my batch of novels. *screaming* ‘THERE WAS NO ONE TO GIVE’ i just found someone and i made sure i gave out ALL!!!! I didn’t sneak to read. I promise 😀 *cross my heart*. It has hidden somewhere in the store. :D. I know y’all believe me right?! Right?! LOOOL!

Dear Mother

Hiya Good People.

I’ve had the most awkward sunday ever! *phew. I was so uncomfortable in church and have been in a foul mood ever since. Feranmi’s fault. 😐 Shoutout to Dunni for coming over to cheer me up.
Apparently it’s Mother’s day today again! We’ve had like how many this year?! And there are still more to come. The world really needs to make up her mind and pick a date instead of messing with our heads. Smh.
Moving on. I realised i hadn’t written anything on my mother previously. Well, i’ve decided to today.

My mother and i haven’t had a rosy relationship despite the fact that i’m her first and only daughter. We’re supposed to have a special magical mother-daughter bond right?! Ours is different. I have two brothers behind me nine years difference between them. Before the birth of my kid brother,it had always been my brother & I plus my MIA half-sister. Because i was older my mother had always thought i could fend for myself so she payed ‘more special’ attention to my brothers. Honestly, i couldn’t be more bothered. Well, i grew up like that and like i said earlier,i wasn’t anyone’s pet. I was alone. Still am.
Because of the kind of person she was we didn’t always agree even till now. I always wanted to have my way once my mind was made up. This always caused the fight. I was tagged stubborn and rebellious. Only if they knew i didn’t care. I was never bothered about what they;my parents thought about me. I believed i couldn’t please them. Anyways back to my mother, our humpty-dumpty relationship continued until a couple of years ago after my high school. She tried to bond with me and support me in my chosen field of study. Fast forward years later, i won’t say we are were i want us to be buh at least we’re somewhere. We have a relationship no matter how small or distant. We aren’t at loggerheads(well,sometimes) buh she’s present,alive and active.

I’m really grateful for my mother especially with the kind of father i have. She’s been a pillar to us as a family both individually and collectively. Really i don’t think i still need to be complaining with all this. Spiritually,Financially name it,she’s been there. Even though she could be partial and bias with my brothers i’m still grateful and i hope and pray she lives well enough to reap the fruit of her labour. Amen.

Happy Mother’s Day.
x

#DearFuturePartner Take Note II

Hiya Good People.

I’m here again with the second part of this series. I hope you enjoyed the previous one. Some might think it’s stressful and unnecessary buh really how far are you willing to go for your partner?! Are you willing to go the extra mile and do things you ordinarily wouldn’t do?! Anyways that’s for y’all to ponder on.
Moving on,before i continue i will like to say as a matter of fact that i’m single(and not searching) atm and if perchance the right person comes along, i won’t hesitate to try out a couple of tips i’m dishing out. So for the record i’m writing this for myself and others as well.

Okay! Let’s get down to business.
1. The thumb rule for a happy relationship is to treat others the way you wish to be treated.
2. Laugh on your problems together. This will give you time to relax and prepare the solutions.
3. Make sure you smell nice. Ladies like guys who smell nice and vice versa.
4. Say those golden words when your partner expects them the least. You’ll make their day.
5. Everyone has their own struggles and every relationship has its own challenges. Stop comparing.
6. Let your partner win the arguments and fights. Give in happily and see what it does to your relationship.
7. Remember the time you guys started dating and recreate that magic by doing all those things again.
8. If you partner is too shy to give you a hug when you’re leaving, say; ‘Can i have a hug?’ and make it a rule.
9. You must have heard that the way through a guy’s heart is through his stomach. It’s equally true for ladies as well.
10. Take charge of your realtionship every once in a while. Do things for him instead. Guys like to be pampered.
11. Surprise her with a date in the middle of the day and you’ll be surprised how lively the conversation can become.
12. It’s a proven fact that guys want girls who are nice to them. So be kind to them and smile when they are around.
13. Don’t try to dig into his past to understand what kind of person he is. Decide on him by the way he makes you feel.
14. Don’t let your dating turn your budget upside down. Check out some affordable yet cool places to spend time together.
15. Don’t get too dependent on your partner that will make him/her feel trapped. Try to keep a healthy balance between you too.
16. A good date is what allows two of you to talk buh at the same time takes the focus off you so you don’t feel under pressure.
17. Getting that bracelet or jacket she’s been eyeing is a great way to show you actually listen to her when she speaks.

Alrite y’all my work here is done.
See ya next time for the final part of this series.

x

On The Issue of Marriage.

Hiya guys.

This post is more like a sequel to the previously reblogged post from SheilaSpeaks on ”Why Are You Still Single”.

I don’t think i’m qualified enough to talk about marriage considering my age and all buh at least i have an idea of what i want and what to expect which BTW is the last thing on my mind ATM.
Society has made it so ”mandatory” that by the age of 27-28 if you aren’t already married or thinking of getting married then something is fundamentally wrong. I’m not here to justify anyone or anything. Amean everyone wants to settle down at one point or the other buh the question is ”Are you really ready for it?” and by that i mean in EVERY area?! Spiritually,Emotionally,Financially….?!

These days the rate of failed marriages is ridiculously high it’s crazyy. And i’m like WTH are they thinking?!! Marriage is an institution ordained by God to last a LIFETIME and not 72days and because of that it shouldn’t be in a rush,race,competition or by societal expectations. It should be about YOU and YOU alone!!! Really, because i don’t understand why people rush into marriage only to end up rushing out. In some situations,some have been married up to 4 times even before they turn 50 which is very sad.

From my own point of view, i think marriage isn’t for the feeble or the desperate. Before you even think of marriage, i feel you should have attained a particular level of maturity both emotionally,spiritually and financially. Yes! Money matters A LOT! A whole lot of ladies marry for financial security which is soo wrong. Everyone wants a tall,dark,handsome rich guy (i’m guilty to an extent. 😉 who will take good care of them and give them heaven and earth thereby becoming totally dependent on the guy. Then they have to put up with whatever the guy throws at them whether good or bad. At that point,they lost their self-esteem and self-worth because they made the guy their world and he has left them heartbroken. Really,Life’s too short for all this. Why don’t you just take your time; enjoy your singlehood, build yourself, set standards, and just be Happy! There’s nothing wrong in being independent,financially stable and comfortable before marriage. Actually i prefer it and that’s what i plan to do. The wrong notion that ladies should be enslaved to men has ruined a lot of lives and i’m not about to be part of that.

I’m glad more ladies these days are better englightened,exposed and are taking control of their lives and not letting society dictate for them.
In the end, God is still the ultimate matchmaker. If He says you’ll be qualified for marriage at the age of 34, you know there’s absolutely nothing you can do about. Because as the Alpha and the Omega, He knows how long it will take for you to be matured both emotionally and spiritually to be the backbone of your family.
Proverbs 3 v4-5 says ”Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL thy ways acknowledge him and He shall direct your path.

x

#DearFuturePartner Take Note!

How y’all doing?!

I’m one of the ‘very few’ people that still believe relationships should be fun. And by that i mean hanging out either at the movies, a concert, a romantic night-out or just relaxing and enjoying each other’s company or better still staying home and just talk! Yeah totally possible. These days young people are more bothered about the number of ladies they’ve slept with and vice versa. I believe relationships should be about getting to know people, building friendships that will last forever, commitments, taking responsibilty for another person’s well being and just having fun. I dunno. Maybe people aren’t exposed enough or are just plain lazy. Or what could the problem be?!

Anyways i’m here to give y’all a couple of tips that may seem not so important but goes a long wayy in improving relationships. I’m not a Subject Matter Expert(SME).These are culled from various sources. I hope you learn a thing or two.

1. Hold hands while walking together. It gives a woman a sense of belonging and to men a message you aren’t afraid of showing the world.
2. Execute a vacation or an outing you guys have been talking about. This will reassure your partner of your commitment level.
3. Take up a sport together. It will keep you fit and bind you two in team spirit.
4. Gifts need not to be expensive all the time. Sometimes tiny little things can show you were thinking of your partner even on outing with besties.
5. It does get difficult to handle those split personalities of guys. Macho from outside and tender from within but it’s what you’re best at.
6. A great way of spending time together is dancing. It will improve the chemistry between you two besides keeping you fit and it’s fun too.
7. Photos are the best way to cage memories. So induge in something as interesting as photography. Choose a theme and go for it.
8. Ask questions like; who’s your best friend?, what’s your childhood ambition? What scares you most? To know their innermost feelings.
9. Beauty sleep before a date is a must. You don’t want to dose off while watching a movie or feel uncomfortable about those dark eye circles.
10. For some, relationships are all they have. You might be dating someone like that. Try not to hurt them with too much indifference.
11. Purchase a small locket with a picture of you and your partner on each side.
12. Stop worrying about tomorrow. Instead live every moment together. Live in right now!
13. To leave a lasting impression on your love interest, just be comfortable and be yourself.
14. Whispering draws attention. When your partner is too busy to listen to you,use this trick.
15. A gentle head/shoulder/foot massage to your partner can do wonders to your relationship. Try it.

LOL. Chessy innit?!
I hope someone was inspired
Watch out for Series II.
x.

Alike Yet So Different

How are y’all doing?

”Oh you look so much like your mom. Anytime i see you, i see her and vice-versa.” I get this a lot!!!
My mom and i look totally alike that most times;when we are together no-one needs to ask whether i’m her daughter. They just keep staring. One will think with so much resemblance we will have so much in common. I wish!

My mom & i are so alike yet different. I think the only thing we share is our looks. Apart from that i can really think of anything else right now. We’re different in almost everything and because of this we tend to disagree a lot. Most times,i always want to have my way buh she comes out with a theory of why it should go her way. I take that as a motherly behaviour and so i don’t argue. There are times it gets to a peak that i let it all out. At that time,i really don’t care whether or not she’s my mum. I just wanna say my mind!

Moving on, I remember growing up on my own. I have two brothers after me so she almost totally ignored me. While my brothers were getting the whole TLC,i was on my own fending for myself. My dad was(is) MIA. He was like a mannequin in the house. I learnt almost everything on my own! Saved up my pocket money to buy makeup,novels,jewellery and almost everything i possessed. I even taught myself to cook. (i can’t stand staying in the kitchen with her). The only thing she bought were clothes,shoes and a couple of necessities. Anyways, i wasn’t so bothered, i learnt to take care of myself fast! I was independent in my own little way. She also wasn’t so involved in my personal life. I had a way of putting her @ arm’s length. So she knew absolutely nothing. She wasn’t even aware of my relationships. I ALWAYS confided in my best friend.(God Bless Dayo!). You can imagine growing up like that so it has kinda become part of me. Even till now,there are still so many things i don’t tell her. That ‘mother-daughter relationship’ is so faint.

Anyways, I’m kinda happy with the person i’ve turned out to be. Even without being my mum’s best friend,i still turned out well. I have God,Church,School and my best friend to thank. I was always very cautious, still am. I’ve instilled values and standards in myself. I have a sense of direction and a mind of my own. I can’t settle for less! With all this,my mom should be happy for me….if only she knew. She hardly gives me audience. She soo annoying so i keep everything to myself.

Notwithstanding,i love my mum. Amean she’s like both parents to me now and she brought me to this world. Even though i’ve secretly wished my aunt was my mom. We’re totally on the same level and she gets me. We have this level of understanding and we also look a lot alike! People always think i’m her daugther when we’re out together and she’s so quick to claim me. LOL.