So a couple of days ago someone said my mum and I behaved and acted like friends. That comment made me smile. Anyone that has been following this blog from inception knows my mum and I didn’t start off all rosy. We were always @ loggerheads. Often times in the past, I come here to bare my heart out to random strangers ( You guys are the best btw :*) and have been consoled with soothing and encouraging words ( I love y’all to bits and pieces).
Anyways I’m pleased to announce that we’ve morphed from being the nagging overbearing mother-and-daughter to actually having a relationship. We talk about absolutely everything minus some awkward issues LOL. From Linda ikeji’s blog to Twitter to dreams, spirituality, social media and whatnot. It’s been tremendously amazing! And it’s all just within a year. There was time to actually bond and respect each other’s views. She has finally ”let me be”. I can wear makeup in peace[it was such a hassle]. I can play dress up and organize her closet. I can even go shoe shopping on her behalf because she trusts my decision.She supports me 110% and makes up for my dad’s inadequacies. She has never tried to impose any career and whatnot down my throat or anything and I simply feel blessed. I honestly can’t wait to start spoiling her silly.
And so for an absolute stranger to pass that kind of comment, I was thrilled. I felt like we’ve actually made an effort you know. And that feels great! I pray God continues to strengthen our bond because more than ever before, I need it!
I love you mum to the moon and back.
Always and Forever
So today was one of those days. Started pretty bad and ended quite well. It got bearable towards the end. My boss confronted me this morning over an issue. Over the last couple of days[weeks] now, she’s been ignoring me. Literally. I guess she couldn’t bear it any longer so she opened up. After the whole castigation; took like 10mins, before I could say Jack Robinson, I didn’t know when I burst into tears. Yup! Literally. [Been a long while I cried tho]. I wasn’t crying because she was reprimanding me or anything, I didn’t realise she could bottle up so much and didn’t make an effort to bring my flaws to my notice which of course was the bone of contention. I’d had probably annoyed her or done something unpleasant unknowingly and she couldn’t correct me right there and there. She had to store everything up! Instead of trying to defend myself [which I always do], the first reaction was tears. How weird! Anger was nowhere to be found. Conceit was AWOL. I was shattered. And then, I guess my tears moved her, she couldn’t believe it. She consoled and later prayed for me.
No one is perfect. Infact it’s our imperfections that define us. I’m a stubborn person. [ I always like to use strong-willed ]. Most times, I’m not aware of these quirks until someone points it out to me. Even at that, I still get carried away until it is painted in black and white before I can fully grasp what the complaint is. No one is above correction. We learn everyday. Whatever it is that we don’t like or we’re uncomfortable with; I think we should bring these things to each other’s notice ASAP! Instead of keeping malice or playing self righteous.
It’s the end of the month! *whoop! Payday is upon us.. Such a long month. It almost didn’t want to end. LOL.
So it’s Father’s day today?! I’ve always tried as much as possible to avoid talking about my dad simply because i really don’t have anything positive to say. And i don’t enjoy dwelling on negativity. Buh because of what today is i’ve decided to say a few things and get it over with. I might never talk about it again.
Last week, TNC (http://www.thenakedconvos.com) started a series on ”Sins of the Father”. At first i wasn’t interested you know,i try as much as possible to avoid any talk on fathers/daddies, i have enough to put up with as it is. But after constantly clogging my TL with links, i eventually succumbed and read a piece on Envy or so. Can’t remember now. After scanning through (Yeah wasn’t interested in reading verbatim), i realised i couldn’t relate with what the writer was trying to pass across. So i left. Sometime ago, King tweeted something about missing his dad and all. Again I didn’t know what to say to console him. *sigh
I do not have a relationship with my father despite the fact that we share the same birthday and our rooms are opposite each other. All those father-daughter bond talk is just bleh! I have no idea what it means. And i’m here asking myself whether or not it would affect me later on. I mean so far i’ve been able to cope with my mother doubling as both parents. I aven’t really had problems with guys so to speak and i’m doing pretty good. I guess God has just been helping me really. That’s the only explanation. He has a way of filling the void and emptiness i feel as well as surpressing the resentment. Buh then again,i still hope the absence of a father-figure isn’t gonna have adverse effects on the long-run. *shrugs* whatever.
I really don’t wanna talk too much. I mean what’s there to even talk about. There’s no point. It’s not like it’s gonna change things or my dad is gonna man up overnight. Everything’s still gonna be the same. Buh you know one thing i’m grateful for?! I don’t have a distorted view of men generally. I still believe there are good guys out there. I believe there are guys who aren’t sex-obsessed, who don’t have the mind to raise their hands on women,who fear God and will make amazing spouses and fathers. Always at the back of my mind is that verse that says all things work together for good to them that love God. I probably wouldn’t have turned out this way if my dad was all lovey-dovey. A spoilt brat maybe. I’m sure i wouldn’t have been driven to write and start this blog. LOL
So some of y’all that still have fathers that are alive and functioning, give him a call, say a word of prayer on his behalf or buy that coffee he loves so much because some of us will trade anything in the world for that opportunity.
Happy Father’s Day.