A New Beginning

Hey!

Wow! So the day is over. Almost technically. I’m yet to eat dinner and my sister still hasn’t called.

I didn’t wake up with any sort of expectation. I just wanted to reply all my birthday tweets and comments,answer a few calls and eat dinner with the fam. Nothing more,nothing less. I just knew this day had to pass somehow. Remember i said something last week about not being excited and all. Well,i still feel the same. Nothing’s really changed.

But then i woke to this wonderful piece written by a friend of mine. I can say right there,my countenance changed. I had hope. A few minutes later another friend wrote me one of the most beautiful poems ever. It was all crowned with yet another crisp buh lovely poem. Really i was overwhelmed. Still am. The kind of love i’ve received from people i barely know (6 months still counts as barely right?!) all i can say is i feel blessed. Really (Ok,i’ve been saying that a lot lately -__-).

Someone asked me how i was gonna celebrate today. I replied and said with the fam as usual. (the same thing i’ve been doing for the past 2 decades). He later joked about how i was getting too old for the same thing i’ve been doing ever since i was born. He had a point which made me think. I’ve never really had a party (10year old party or 17 year old house party does not count). You know the kind of party with loads of friends and drinks. Yeah that kind. Then i realised i never really liked parties. The whole crowd and stuffiness. Nahh not my thing. I’d rather stay home and watch TV.

My ideal celebration is hanging out with 2 or 3 friends in the mall or at the movies to watch Fast and the Furious 6, Kareoke, or just a candle-lit dinner and red wine with le boo. Is that too much to ask?! Or just stay home have a sleepover with a couple of friends and eat WHATSOEVER i like. Or go to places i wouldn’t naturally go on a normal day. Yeah that’s what i want. I’m weird like that ^_^. Anything without drinks (Alcohol) and noise.

Moving On..

Someone called me a woman today and it hasn’t stopped lingering in my head. I’m like ”Me,a woman i’m still small oo”. You know i’ve never actually taught of that. The realisation that i’m not getting any younger hit me hard. Afterall in the North a lot of my age mates are already married with kids. *sigh. I’m actually getting old and will soon be married. Wow! So fast!

Then again,i can’t wait to leave my parents’ house and for my dad to stop thinking i’m still 12 because of my height. I’m hoping they can now trust me enough to fly alone without thinking i need a guardian. I’m looking forward to taking up responsibilities, making life changing decisions and facing and overcoming challenges.

*sigh

Like i said earlier, this is just the beginning.

x

Troubled Mind

I try really hard not to think about you
Buh anytime your name pops up
I’m forced to look back
Sometimes full of regrets
Other times full of aspirations
Occasionally just clueless
Full of mixed emotions and uncertainties
I try not to bother so much
Convincing myself it doesn’t really matter
It hardly helps
The guilt isn’t helping matters
Neither are you
I try to stalk
Hoping you’ll get over me
So i can finally be at rest
But no,
You keep striving
Because you aren’t giving up just yet
But there’s one thing i know for sure
This also will pass…

x.

P.S: Practice makes perfect. 😉