At the beginning of the year, I intentionally skipped some things when making plans for the year. Probably because as important as they are, I didn’t think I was ready to put an effort and/or do something about them. They include
Find love (again)
Make new friends
Just a couple of weeks ago, both of my friends pointed out the fact that I needed to leave the comfort of my home and meet people. I used Twitter as an excuse. Left to me, I could stay on the internet all day and connect with people without stepping an inch away from my bed hence my current status of reclusity. It’s actually become a lifestyle. So it was easy for me not to make resolutions about them but you know how life is; it has a way of throwing you off balance with it’s unpredictions and knocking you into reality. So, I’ve unconsciously[keyword] decided to follow the yellow brick road wherever it leads which means I’ll probably do some things just because. Nothing premeditated of any sort just moving in the direction of the wind until I return to my shell.
Good news is I’ve met new people. I hope I can keep up, follow through and not get bored of them. I feel like my expectations of people are too high and if after a while they don’t seem to meet up, I’d just leave them hanging. Reason for a lot of ”failed” friendships in the past.
Then again,there was a quote on Pinterest that said something about ”most writers being introverts”. Up until now, I’ve never really considered myself as an introvert especially because I used to have a very active social life with tons of friends. I was a full-fledged extrovert until a couple of years ago when the tables turned.
For some reasons, I’m not particularly thrilled about giving love another chance or rather opening up to dating this year especially since it didn’t leave on a good note previously but if it comes, I’m not holding back. Love is a beautiful thing and I’m not about to deprive myself of that even though I think it comes with a truckload of quirks. Relationships are a lot of work and sometimes when I think of it, I’d rather just remain single as a pringle.
Meanwhile, I think solitude and serenity are grossly underrated! Yes! Yes! I’m an advocate. Don’t get tired of hearing it.
Love,friends and serenity
“I’m at that point in my life where I’m trying to ”avoid” the company of my old friends because of my faith. I’m always giving the excuse that I’m busy but in reality I simply can’t connect with them anymore.
Recently, I realised I was gradually becoming a recluse. The idea of making new friends sounds great but for now, I’d rather just be by myself and enjoy my own company.
P:S I have less than 5 friends atm.”
Growing up, most of my friends were my juniors. In their midst i was always the oldest or close to with probably a year or two difference. And because of that, i always felt too ”matured” so to speak. I didn’t behave and act the way they did. Our train of thoughts were always apart. Our attitudes were quite different. I don’t even know how we managed to remain friends when we didn’t have so much in common.[They are called childhood friends for a reason and most times they are family/church friends]. When we got to a certain age, we went our seperate ways.
As i grew up and went through school, the same trend continued i found myself again among younger people. Buh this time, instead of being so uptight and condescending, i loosened up! I let myself live. I didn’t care. I let them tease and pull my legs. i let them love and condemn me. I let them share hugs and kisses. I bascially turned tables and became the ”baby” among them. I’m so glad i did because i made AMAZING friends back in school. But it wasn’t all rosy. There were often clashes. I had (still have) issues with those with ”low IQ”.Those that are sluggish and non-challant put me off completely! Infact that was the main reason for some ”failed” friendships! Those that give so much attention to worthless things irritate me. I’m very particular about the sort of people that are around me because i feel they should be able to uphold and stand in the gap for me and vice versa. I have high expectations because i believe my friends are part of me. They need to be able to inspire me[and vice versa]. We need to have common interests and go crazy whenever we feel like. We need to be able to appreciate each other and share similar values. I need to be able to call you @ 3am and talk. LOL. That’s why i don’t have too many friends. Too much responsibility.
Friendships are platforms for involvements in other people’s lives to make tangible differences. [positively or negatively]. And because they play a major role in our lives; as their influence cannot be avoided, i think we need to pay attention to the kind of people we hang out with.
P.S: Don’t mind me. Once we bond, we shouldn’t have issues.
Designed to make or mar you
Readily avaliable to raise your spirit
Never a dull moment
Fun and laughter all the way
Fights and tease too
That doesn’t make them less human
They are fully aware of your past
And accepts you just the way you are
Ever present shoulder to cry on
Distance can’t even hold us down
Our bond so strong,it’s impenetrable
Even those fights and quarrels that seem to break us
Makes us even stronger
They makes this wicked world bearable
Because they got our backs even in the toughest situations
Their importance cannot be over-emphasised
Thank God for friends.
Even for the ones that brought tears to our eyes
Those that brought the best in us
And taught us life’s greatest lessons
We will continue to cherish them
Because their reward is in Heaven.
P.S: Dedicated to all my friends. God bless you loadz! Xoxo.
How Y’all Doing?!
Uhm…this is more of a rant or ramble so to speak with no particular sequence ( i dunno maybe it might end up arranged or something) and is not directed to anyone. It’s just how i feel.
I think i’m the most misunderstood person in the world. Ok maybe not in the world,in Lagos. *sigh. Maybe not. Whatever. As simple and as straightforward as i am, no one seems to understand my intentions. I’m barely capable of doing evil because as much as i fear the repercussions,i love my life. I try to be really nice to people. Really! And caring too. Yeah i actually am. I love my friends to bits even though i could be more self-centered. Who isn’t?! I don’t have to call or text them everyday to show it. In my heart,i’m praying for them and hoping things turn out well for them. Really. What then is the problem?! From time to time i ask myself. Can’t someone just sit down and understand me and not just assume?! What’s so hard?! Try and study me,talk to me. I’m not a monster. You cannot be absent in my life and then show up one day thinking you’ll meet the same person you left. There’s something called Growing.Up, Maturing. Like they say change is the only constant thing. This i think is one of the many causes of disagreement.
The one and only best friend i’ve had totally became a stranger almost a year ago. Yeah. Towards the end of our friendship,we dated for a couple of months (Totally wrong move) even before that,our relationship had already began deteriorating. I guess we were growing too fast and we couldn’t keep up with each other. LOL. So funny. Even with that i thought he was gonna be my BFF (Best Friend Forever). I even confessed i couldn’t live without him. Hmm. Such Irony. I dunno. I guess we just grew apart. Neither of us took time to understand and acknowledge the people we were becoming. We grew more and more distant. All forms of communication always ended in a fight. I was tired. I missed the old him. He was the only person that understood how much i didn’t enjoy cooking. LOL. He was someone i could call and talk to @ 2am. I wasn’t even bothered about my parents. In all he was the only person that truly understood who the person ‘Ebun’ was. He was basically part of me. Yeah in past tense. How sad. Then we broke up. That was basically the end of our 8yr friendship. Buh i needed to get over him so i cut all forms of contact. And till date we haven’t really talked. The funny thing was we talked about us towards the end buh it was too late you know. We were both done trying.
Right now,i think it’s taking a toll on me. I’m yet to recover even after a year. And i cannot believe it. I always boast of being a superhuman. I can handle almost anything that comes my way. Hmm. Indeed. I think right now i’m yet to find that person that’s ready to actually be a friend. I always say true friendships are the best thing that can happen to anyone. It’s Priceless. And for me it’s a big deal. It’s not something that should be toiled with because even parents as far as i’m concerned can’t give them to you. Really.
So because of that i’ve basically had problems with people around me and i’ve had to endure. Honestly,i miss my best friend. Life was so much easier with him. There’s nothing as blissful as having someone who knows so much about you and accepts you just the way you are. Again it’s Priceless.
Oh! Church was awesome today! Particularly because i could relate to the topic. We had a talk show where we discussed ‘Association’. Different people had different views on how we as Believers should relate with Unbelievers in every aspect of our lives.
The issue of Friendships and Relationships is what took my interest. We are supposed to be particular about our circle of friends. We should drop anyone that isn’t making a positive impact on our lives;friends that don’t have the same values as you do and friends that don’t make you a better person both physically and spirituarly.
Just last year, i blogged about how Ive been disconnected from my friends due to new priorities and was feeling quite lonely. Unknown to me, i had dropped them because we didn’t share similar values you know. I attended a Christian High school and unconsciously retained the teachings and values instilled in me. Probably because i renewed my relationship with God when i graduated.
I’m a strong believer in the quote ‘Show me your friend and i’ll tell you who you are’ and also ‘Bad communication corrupts Good manners’. I strongly believe friendships are one of the most important things in life after God and family. The type of friends you have around you can either make or mar you.
I’m a very friendly person. I love having people around me. Buh i’ve come to realise less is better. You will agree with me that so many teenagers and youths have been mislead by their friends one way or the other. As a result of this, there’s a high rate of crime and immorality because everybody wants to be among. No one wants to be left out.
Now i’ve decided i’m gonna have as few friends as possible and more of acquintances. I have a great future ahead of me and i don’t need anyone to disrupt God’s plan for me. And for that to happen, i’m gonna have to cut off anything or anyone that will cause me to succumb to peer pressure. It’s not supposed to be an easy thing buh i know God is gonna help me.
I hope you will too. 🙂
Lately ive been feeling kinda depressed.Apart from the fact that im trying to recover from a terrible heartbreak, im gradually becoming a loner.If someone had told me this years ago,I wouldn’t believe.I mean i used to be surrounded with lots of friends and peers.but now im just all alone.Then again i realize,I never really had any friends aside those that i went to high school with.I didn’t have Church friends (apart from Nene who has also become distant too),Home friends (my former bestie was my only friend)I only had acquaintances.Friendships mean a lot to me.I’m one of those few people that actually cherish human relationships.I have this special love and respect for my friends(im sure they don’t know this 😉 These days all guys want is to set p.(BTW,i prefer male friends,too much drama with girls) Very few people are ready to be committed.People don’t value friendships anymore.Back to my story, everyone just seems to be busy with something,minding their business or rather making new friends & i feel so left behind.Every time I have the opportunity to hang out i realise how much ive missed 😦 Maybe its because i don’t go to a regular school and i have so much free time.I’m trying to make new friends buh its just so hard to find someone who accepts you just the way you are and has the same beliefs and values like you.So for now, im just gonna mellow and try and enjoy this phase of my life.Like someone said,it will pass.Buh honestly its boring i can’t lie.i miss my friends so much it hurts.:( 😦 😦