What I Learnt.

Hey guys!

So we had our quarterly talk show in Church yesterday and the topic was ”A Christian Home”. At first I was really skeptical about staying till the end of the service, as marriage/family is the last thing on my mind atm but I realised no knowledge is a waste and stayed back. It was basically about the ideal christian home and was handled by a panel of ministers. But there was one thing that really stuck. It was the fact that God created man and woman as ”helpmates”.

In Africa, there’s this ideology that once a woman is married she becomes the slave of her husband as she’s in charge of every single thing in the home. Infact it is/was a taboo for a man to be found in the kitchen for instance talkless of cooking. But today we were made to understand that God created the institution of marriage. Inasmuch as women are commanded to submit to their husbands, it doesn’t mean they should be reduced to slaves! They should also be made to take part in the decision-making process in the home and contribute to the overall wellbeing of the family members. Husbands are also enjoined to assist their wives especially with domestic duties or how else would they show love if not by helping out. It doesn’t make you less of a man or a weakling.

For a minute there, I felt I was ready for marriage with everything I heard. LOL. I think it’s of utmost importance that marriages are built in Christ. Or how else do you plan on fulfilling your purpose? A family that stays together, sticks together and that cannot be possible without Christ as the head of the home.

It is well. God will help us.

EB.

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When Traditions Become Cliche

Hi.

I think one of the reasons why Christmas or any other festive period has become somewhat cliche is because it’s become a tradition. Something that must be observed irrespective of your stance. You get so used to it that it has lost it’s essence and the only way to regain it is to do it differently.

I’ve never broken the tradition of celebrating Christmas with my family. So don’t blame me when the rants start flowing but for now I’m just going observe some chill. But honestly, I want out. I have no idea what I want presently, all I know is I want something different. All over the world, it’s the time of the year to reconnect with families which I presume have been apart all through the year. But what about those of us that have been stuck with them over the years? Christmas isn’t any different. It’s just one of those days especially in my household. Lucky enough, we don’t attend those churches that have mandatory services on Christmas day. That makes it a bit bearable.

As a young adult, there’s always a constant desire to break free from the norm. Now I mean in a positive way without necessarily throwing your values out of the window. Like celebrating Christmas without the family, not necessarily by oneself but differently. As I’m writing this, I have no idea what other pleasant-and-fun-but-not-breaking-the-bank options there are apart from;
Eating out
Going to the cinema
Shopping
Unplanned visits
Family reunion
Karaoke
Yeah, that’s practically all. Now, it isn’t the wisest thing to visit public places on that day because of congestion and sometimes stampede. So we’re left with no option that to stay home, watch Christmas movies and eat chicken. And then the boring cycle continues.

Sigh.

How else do you celebrate Christmas apart from staying at home with the fam?

Always and Forever
EB.

Is Family Really Everything?

Hey People.

Two days ago, I sent a SMS to my paternal aunt requesting for a particular something I knew she could afford and effortlessly give out.[ First time in my ENTIRE life] At first, I was quite skeptical. I actually excepted her to turn me down so I prepped myself for the disappointment. Lo and behold, she did just that. I had to even give her a call to get a feedback. I felt really bad. Not because of the refusal, but because it actually confirmed my fears.

Sigh

One of the reasons I don’t ask people for things especially my extended family. Over the years I’ve actually learnt to be content with whatever my parents are able to provide and gather for myself. Fortunately for me, the Holy Spirit has sort of been helping me so it’s become a value.

The quote ”Family is everything” seems to always fly around insomuch that it’s become a personal mantra for some. And I’m like ”what does that even mean?”. Note that in this context, I’m referring to the whole family tree which includes the extended family. Uncles, aunts, grannies and whatnot. In a typical family, there’s supposed to be a sort of connection. Everyone’s meant to look out for one another and be a sort of pillar of support. But that’s not the case in mine. Every time there’s a get-together or reunion, I try my possible best to avoid it or come up with an excuse. A mean what’s the point of being around people who only tolerate you. There’s no bond whatsoever and it’s so sad which brings me to the question; is family really everything? I don’t think this should be a generalized statement because it doesn’t apply to everyone and it’s overrated.

Yes I said it..

Family is overrated. [You don’t want me to get started on my immediate family]

Don’t.Judge.Me.

Anyways my mum tried to counsel me and make me realise that God has a plan and purpose for everything. My aunt or any member of my family may not be there for me when I need them because God wants to do something spectacular, He wants to use someone else; a totally random person maybe so that in the end ALL glory will be ascribed to Him.

Always and Forever
E.

For Mum and Dad

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It’s my parents’ anniversary today. If I think of the situation of things in my home, I probably won’t have any reason to write. But I will.

I can’t count how many times I’ve prayed for my folks to divorce. Sadly they’ve been able to tolerate each other for our sakes even though they’ve been separated for more than seven years and it looks like the best seven years of my life till date. When I look at how they’ve become, I begin to question God. So I don’t think too much about them. I just ignore and pretend it’s OK and all is well. When you see me you probably won’t have the faintest idea of what I’m going though because I’m a happy child. I don’t let these things get to me. I drown myself in whatever I find; Twitter,Books, Writing, Music whatever just to get away.

But 23years down the line, we’re here. I’m torn between celebrating their ”marriage” and wondering what the future holds for them.

Sigh

Happy Anniversary Guys!

Always and Forever
E

P.S: That was my parents and I some 18years ago when it was all rosy.I used this because i would give anything to have them back the same way again.

To A Gem..

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So it’s my sister’s birthday today. i hope i didn’t mix the date up again. A couple of months ago, we were at an embassy interview and i totally blanked out. I knew it was between 21-24, so i just picked one. SMH. For some reasons,we don’t live together. If I’m lucky enough, i get to see her once a year,so we really don’t have a relationship so to speak and we hardly talk. Yep! Crazy i know. She doesn’t even know that I’m a writer,hasn’t read any of my works and isn’t aware of my natural hair journey. We’re just…….Distant.

Regardless of our dysfunctional relationship, i still love her. I miss her so much it hurts.There’s a point in every girl life when she needs her sister to hold her back. Inasmuch as i try to deny it, i guess I’m at this point now.

Anyways enough of the sobbing..

Happy Birthday Mayowa!.

Wishing you all that you wish yourself and more

I love you so so much

God bless you. :*:*:*

Can’t wait to be re-united with you again.

X_X

A Lil’ Catch Up!

Hey guys! What’s up with y’all?!

Been a while. Yeah not so far tho buh that’s how i feel. I’m seriously dreading this point in my life where i don’t have daily posts to feed y’all; even as little as a sonnet. 😦 :(. I really do not want my job to pull me away from my dearly beloved blog. LOL. Anyways i’m here now and that’s all that matters.

This past weekend was one tough one for me. The death of Cory Monteith hit me so hard, you’ll think he was a relative or a family member. A couple of years ago, i became so attached to Glee. I dunno. I was an official GleeK. Along the line,it became my fave tv show/musical/comedy all rolled in one [even though i aven’t seen it in a while tho; *winks]. I have both original and cover songs on my phone to fill the void so i don’t miss it too much. Or why else do i watch it?! Their voices are paramount importance. The whole synchronisation and delivery gives me goosebumps. So when i heard Cory died, i was like’ ”wow!”. Found it really hard to believe until Perez Hilton decided to clog my TL with links and tributes and then it finally sank. That very tall,huge guy with an amazing voice and a contagious personality was dead. Glee would never be the same again. The chemistry between Cory and Lea was heavenly. If they finally decide to replace him, they should change the entire cast. Sometime ago, i did a little background check on him and found out he had issues. He’s been through so much and has been trying to come clean; checking into rehabs and all. Buh after everything, he still died. Wow! I know God has a reason for taking him(i.e if he didn’t actually commit suicide, not sure yet). One thing i know for sure is i’m gonna miss him. I mean i have over 50% of their songs and i can sooo recognise his voice from anywhere.*sigh. #RIPCoryMonteith. (This should count as a tribute right?!)

On to not-so-important things;

i think i’ve finally been able to settle and cope with my job. Suddenly it just seems bearable. That’s the idea right?! What then is point of staying the whole month or more?! You get used to it and then it doesn’t seem so terrible anymore. *sigh. Whatever.

A couple of weeks ago i downloaded The Message Bible on my phone. I CANNOT believe i’ve been depriving myself of such GREATNESS!!!. Like i heard about it from my timeline you know and i just consciously ignored it. I didn’t think there was more to it than the regular other Bible versions. And then i downloaded it and used it for my devotion instead of my usual KJV. Wow! That’s all i can say. One of the reasons why i kinda sorta stall my bible readings is the version. As much as i love KJV and NIV, i still find it difficult to comprehend some passages you know. So this Message version was everything! I have no excuse whatsoever for not reading at least a chapter everyday. It’s easy to read and quite self-explanatory.

My aunt needs to stop tensioning me about my FB profile pictures. Like what the hell?!

The endless arguments on Twittersphere is gonna drive me crazy someday. Amean why is there an argument for/against washing boyfriends’ clothes and underwear?! Have washing machines gone extinct?!!! Or have guys sudden become paralysed?! Ugh! *rme. Then again, that’s the fun of it. I’ll just be here loling at their ignorance and stupidity.

*sigh.
I should go.

Don’t worry guys, y’all are always on my mind 😀

xxxxx.

Dear Mother

Hiya Good People.

I’ve had the most awkward sunday ever! *phew. I was so uncomfortable in church and have been in a foul mood ever since. Feranmi’s fault. 😐 Shoutout to Dunni for coming over to cheer me up.
Apparently it’s Mother’s day today again! We’ve had like how many this year?! And there are still more to come. The world really needs to make up her mind and pick a date instead of messing with our heads. Smh.
Moving on. I realised i hadn’t written anything on my mother previously. Well, i’ve decided to today.

My mother and i haven’t had a rosy relationship despite the fact that i’m her first and only daughter. We’re supposed to have a special magical mother-daughter bond right?! Ours is different. I have two brothers behind me nine years difference between them. Before the birth of my kid brother,it had always been my brother & I plus my MIA half-sister. Because i was older my mother had always thought i could fend for myself so she payed ‘more special’ attention to my brothers. Honestly, i couldn’t be more bothered. Well, i grew up like that and like i said earlier,i wasn’t anyone’s pet. I was alone. Still am.
Because of the kind of person she was we didn’t always agree even till now. I always wanted to have my way once my mind was made up. This always caused the fight. I was tagged stubborn and rebellious. Only if they knew i didn’t care. I was never bothered about what they;my parents thought about me. I believed i couldn’t please them. Anyways back to my mother, our humpty-dumpty relationship continued until a couple of years ago after my high school. She tried to bond with me and support me in my chosen field of study. Fast forward years later, i won’t say we are were i want us to be buh at least we’re somewhere. We have a relationship no matter how small or distant. We aren’t at loggerheads(well,sometimes) buh she’s present,alive and active.

I’m really grateful for my mother especially with the kind of father i have. She’s been a pillar to us as a family both individually and collectively. Really i don’t think i still need to be complaining with all this. Spiritually,Financially name it,she’s been there. Even though she could be partial and bias with my brothers i’m still grateful and i hope and pray she lives well enough to reap the fruit of her labour. Amen.

Happy Mother’s Day.
x

Couple or Housemates??

Ok so i’m here to vent and this can’t wait.

I come from a dysfunctional family. So many things are done wrong,misplaced priorities here and there. There’s little or no family bond. Just recently i heard a story about my parents that i’ve never heard before.
When my mom was done narrating ‘her story’, so many things began to make sense. It was then i realised one mistake,just one mistake can change your life positively or negatively. Sadly, in my parents’ case, it’s negatively.
Apparently, they had issues before they got married (some 22years ago). My dad made a terrible mistake and then went on to apologise to my mom who naively forgave him and went ahead to marry him.
*sigh*
Now, she regrets ever making that decision.
Before i heard this story, i felt something was wrong somewhere. They weren’t like the regular lovey-dovey couple who after so many years of being together were still madly in love with each other. They hardly even pass compliments (from what i’ve noticed) or share gifts or behave like a couple. It was like they were strangers or better still housemates. Their priorities changed. My mom was/is bent on taking care of us with/without my dad while he is ‘obsesssed’ with something else,ignoring his family duties. It’s like they despise each other and are only being tolerant because of us the children.
Wow! Such role models?
As i grew older, i began to notice this things because it was affecting us. My father wasn’t a ‘dad’ to us. He poured his love and affection to something else. Infact, we began to ‘hate’ him.
Right now my hatred is filled with so much bitterness and anger. The Holy Spirit just has a way of surpressing and keeping me in control so i don’t do things i’ll end up regretting.
My mum believes he’s bewitched and hasn’t given up praying for him. If she had her way, she would have left him long ago buh because of us.
I feel so sorry for her because she’s so unhappy. Things aren’t going the way it should. My biggest fear is that she will die without reaping the fruit of her labour. That’s something i can’t live with because she deserves soooo much more.
I actually stopped praying for my dad to change instead i handed him over to God and have redirected my prayers for my mom.
Even though i still love to see a big happy family, part of me has given up on that. It’s up to me now to learn from them and not have a repeat. I know i will find true happiness when i start my own family but for now….happiness,love,affection are just words!