Don’t Touch Me!

So a couple of days ago, after waiting a long while, I couldn’t contain my craving for Boli (Roasted plantain) anymore, I set out to get some. As I was waiting for the woman selling to attend to me, this random guy that had been hitting on me for a while now just came from nowhere and placed his hand on my shoulder and before I could say Jack Robinson, I screamed ”Don’t touch me!!!!!!”. The dude removed his hand instantly.

Honestly I have no idea where that came from. No, I think I do. I don’t like being touched for any random reason. Gosh! Don’t touch me! Yes, I could get really touchy and it’s not very pretty. I literally cringe when anyone including my friends touch me. Feranmi can testify to this. He probably also thinks I’m weird or something. LOL. No but really, I don’t particularly appreciate being touched especially if we not involved in any way. Even at that, I always keep people at arm’s length. I think the only time I feel comfortable with being touched is when I feel emotionally safe and secure with the person. Then I can open up and maybe allow you to some extent. Other than that, please control yourself. Besides, I think it’s disrespectful really, especially if you’re not well acquainted with someone and then after every little thing, you have to touch to make emphasis, please you should seek help. I find it weird really.

This is one pet-peeve I do not take lightly.

How about you? Do you mind being touched (un)necessarily?

Toodles
EB.

Facade Or Not?

A few weeks ago, while I was going about my business for my next post on AN, I stumbled on BLGH’s Male Natural Hair Icons. Now the this intrigued me enough to start a series. One of the guys featured was Larry. Hot, sassy, eye-catchy with an enormously gorgeous mane. That wasn’t all. I went through his interview and one thing that stuck out for me was his reference to his faith. His was(is) obviously a believer. ( I’m careful not to use the word ”Christian”. He could be a facade for all we know but I couldn’t be bothered.)

Next up was the search for his twitter handle. Luckily, he was gracious enough to include it in his response. Then, I looked it up and followed him. After a while, when the hysteria had subsided, I tweeted at him. His avatar then revealed quite the opposite of what I was expecting. He had chopped off his ‘fro. I could not understand how and why. Then I asked him. Days(ssss) went by(he’s obviously not a regular tweeter) and he finally replied last night.

His exact words;

”basically it represented a lot of things that were in the way, obscuring my view of the
divine father & the son. i realized i let too much of my life be focused on me, and i wanted more of it to be focused on god”.

Okay. Fine. Understood. His current avatar shows that his hair has grown to a certain length. Let’s assume BSL and I’m like ”it’s growing again, gonna keep cutting it?” And he says;

”i cut it again after that, but for now i don’t know. i think i accomplished for me what i needed
to when i shaved it the 1st time. Now i have a clearer perspective of its (and all it represented) place in my life”.

After reading this and correlating it to his interview, I was impressed. In my opinion, he has a level of understanding of his faith and/or spirituality. And I’m asking myself, ” Could I cut out completely anything that would come in the way of my relationship with God?” I let that sink for a minute.

Whilst reflecting, King comes up with own views. He had seen my retweets and didn’t particularly agree with Larry’s explanation/point of view. And I’m like, alright fine then, but you can’t just conclude, could we at least give him the benefit of the doubt? King insists and is not swayed. According to him, which I agree, there’re tons of psychos on the internet that would do anything for attention and would use religion as a justification and this really isn’t any different. I had to stop the argument from escalating. We probably would go on and on.

I’m not particularly bothered about whether or not Larry is saying the whole truth. Whatever his motives are, are entirely his business. However his portrayal is quite intriguing and it reminds me of Matthew 5:29,

”If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose
one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell”

Need I say more?

EB.

Out And About.

So it’s Valentine’s day today.

The girls and I had fun. We unconsciously and unexpectedly went out of the cliche guy-girl norm. It was all good until two of us became third wheels and had to leave(Thankfully). Yes a guy eventually came around.

Personally I don’t believe in Valentine’s day. I think it’s overrated because there’s so much hype and thirst attached to it.. The pressure to deliver and not be seen as being broke or stingy and the thirst to receive gifts no matter how small and flaunt it. Guys want to pamper. Girls want to be pampered. There’s competition. Who gives better gifts and who doesn’t. And then the most annoying part is the emphasis placed on sex. I have no idea where the deranged idea that the day is incomplete without sex came from. Of course after the guy has drained his account just to please his partner, he sort of expects some dividends in return. Most times if not all the time it’s sex. Blah blah blah!

No I’m not depressed neither am I excited about the day. Maybe because of my marital status, maybe not. The truth is, I’ve never really celebrated the day or received gifts honouring the day so in my head, it’s just another day of the week. #DontJudgeMe.

But you know what’s peculiar about today? I took myself out, bought myself food and had fun just because. Apart from the people looking ridiculous with their red and white outfits, I probably wouldn’t remember it’s Valentine’s day.

Meanwhile, I love today’s date; 14-02-14.

Okay I think I should go.

Love,love and more love
EB.

On Starting Over.

I promise I’ve been planning to write all this while instead of posting videos back-to-back, I just needed to gather and arrange my littered thoughts.

In the space of about three months, I’ve heard two stories on how two individuals left everything and started over, education-wise for some reasons. Personally the first one seemed more valid as it was something I could relate with and could actually do. The second one was more shattering and for days I couldn’t get over it.. I was literally distraught. My emotions were messed up and I began to wonder,

”What if it was me?”

Would I be bold enough to leave everything despite the challenges and pressure especially parental and societal and start over? Honestly? No I don’t think I can. I don’t think I could live with it.. My heart wouldn’t allow it.. But on the long-run, I’m asking myself, ”Would I have regretted not making that decision when I could have and age wasn’t catching up with me even if it was?” Absolutely! It would probably haunt me for the rest of my life.

I don’t think it’s particularly easy for anyone to just stop whatever it is they’re doing at that moment for various reasons and decide to start over. Be it a job, career, or even a course of study in school. It takes a special level of grace to leave everything behind and turn to something unknown with only hope in sight.

There was a time in my life when I also at a point of desperation for something. I had the utmost faith and belief that I was gonna get it.. No matter the level I was in school, I was ready to start over. I didn’t care about anything else. I had my eyes solely on the prize. Long story short, till now it didn’t yield. I was angry with myself, angry that I apparently didn’t do enough, angry with God because I believed I did everything necessary.Good thing is, it didn’t lead to depression, I simply redirected my energy to something else pending the time.

My point is, it’s not everyone that has the courage to pick up the pieces of their lives, pack their bags,turn around and embark on a life-changing journey. I have a new found respect for people that have found themselves in this category and my heart goes out to them. The Lord is your strength and He will definitely see you through because His grace is sufficient.

Love and grace.
EB.

2014: Finding Love and Friendships

Hey!

At the beginning of the year, I intentionally skipped some things when making plans for the year. Probably because as important as they are, I didn’t think I was ready to put an effort and/or do something about them. They include

Find love (again)

Make new friends

Just a couple of weeks ago, both of my friends pointed out the fact that I needed to leave the comfort of my home and meet people. I used Twitter as an excuse. Left to me, I could stay on the internet all day and connect with people without stepping an inch away from my bed hence my current status of reclusity. It’s actually become a lifestyle. So it was easy for me not to make resolutions about them but you know how life is; it has a way of throwing you off balance with it’s unpredictions and knocking you into reality. So, I’ve unconsciously[keyword] decided to follow the yellow brick road wherever it leads which means I’ll probably do some things just because. Nothing premeditated of any sort just moving in the direction of the wind until I return to my shell.

Good news is I’ve met new people. I hope I can keep up, follow through and not get bored of them. I feel like my expectations of people are too high and if after a while they don’t seem to meet up, I’d just leave them hanging. Reason for a lot of ”failed” friendships in the past.

Then again,there was a quote on Pinterest that said something about ”most writers being introverts”. Up until now, I’ve never really considered myself as an introvert especially because I used to have a very active social life with tons of friends. I was a full-fledged extrovert until a couple of years ago when the tables turned.

For some reasons, I’m not particularly thrilled about giving love another chance or rather opening up to dating this year especially since it didn’t leave on a good note previously but if it comes, I’m not holding back. Love is a beautiful thing and I’m not about to deprive myself of that even though I think it comes with a truckload of quirks. Relationships are a lot of work and sometimes when I think of it, I’d rather just remain single as a pringle.

Meanwhile, I think solitude and serenity are grossly underrated! Yes! Yes! I’m an advocate. Don’t get tired of hearing it.

Love,friends and serenity
EB.

Red.

Hi.

Earlier in the day, I painted my nails red for the first time[don’t ask how] and the first thing that came to my mind when I was done was the image of my 86 year old grandma. Amongst other genes I inherited from her, I didn’t realise this was one of them. Our fingers looked so much alike and was more pronounced with the red polish. For some reasons, I wasn’t very thrilled especially since I’m not very fond of her. Truth is, I’m not particularly fond of anyone paternally related to me. [Long story]. But this, I’m not sure I know how I feel about it. Yeah maybe I’m a bit paranoid but on a normal regular situation, it should be a thing of joy but sadly it isn’t. As beautiful as my fingers were, it kept visualizing her. No, she’s not dead. She’s very much alive. I’m just worried it would affect me to the point of totally staying clear of red polish. Si. C’est tres possible!

Yeah I eventually wiped it off.

EB.

#ThankfulFriday

Hi.

Today I’m particularly thankful for the life of my friend Ola. I got a call yesterday that he went for a surgery and came out successfully. Infact he was speaking from his hospital bed. I couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if he didn’t but because he did I shoved the thought away. For a long time, I talked and talked and couldn’t stop talking. He even began to complain. LOL. At first, I was upset he didn’t tell me earlier, amean he did about a year ago but I expected him to remind me so that I could intercede on his behalf. But whatever his reasons are, I respect them. I’m just so thankful reallly. You have no idea. My heart is full of gratitude to God. I haven’t seen him in a while but we’re always in touch which can be a chore sometimes. But Ola is always there. He’s had my back for as long as I can remember and I’m grateful I didn’t lose him.

I love you Ola. God bless and keep you. :*

EB.

Life Lately!

Hey guys!

So I’ve decided to take a shot at freelance writing. Yeah it feels so abrupt but I knew someday, one way or the other, I was gonna finally go for it. The opportunity has sort of presented itself. I have no idea why I’m still holding back. My biggest fear is that I might not be able to deliver especially since I don’t do a lot of social commentary. I have a very vague idea of pop culture or religion. I love reading but I don’t read that much. I don’t get myself involved in anything, issues, topics that would twist my mindset of things. I’m not interested in how many albums Beyonce or Rihanna have neither am I bothered about how many charts they’ve topped. I really really don’t care about atheists or catholics. I couldn’t be bothered about how they choose to or not to serve God. Politics is a no go area. With these challenges, I’m not too sure I can succeed in it but what do I know?
Well, I’m gonna keep reading on it, you know. Haven’t really done any proper research and I’ll see what I can come up with. I’m also kind of wary about these sites that promise to ”help” in exchange for a certain amount of money. I’m not about to let myself fall a victim of internet scam. Eventually, I’m gonna need to do a lot of things by myself.

Side Note: Church was awesome today. I returned to my old church where I grew up in and it was fun. Service was different,I haven’t enjoyed it in a while. I danced till I had cramps. Saw some old faces. Everyone’s grown! I was careful enough to sit aside. I was about to bring any attention to myself. But it was all good. In the midst of all the greeting and hugging, it was good.

What have you guys been up to?

Toodles
EB.

It’s Christmas!

Hi guys!

Merry Christmas!

It’s been an amazing year. I can’t exactly describe how I feel right now, all I know is I feel much better than the past week. Maybe because I’ve big chopped! No? Yes! I finally gathered courage to chop it off. My hair was a mess and i wasn’t ready to go to the salon until next year. It felt good honestly. I didn’t feel as much guilt as I did previously. Anyways I rock a mini ‘fro now. Pictures coming soon! My NHJ page will also be updated!

So far, Christmas has been so-so. Woke up to make my famous Christmas breakfast. Gosh! Last night was something else. We didn’t shop until evening. I had to rush to the market and then the supermarket and cold room. The stores were almost empty. I was lucky enough to get a few things I’m glad there wasn’t much traffic. And then, I got on Twitter to tweet goodwill messages. Whether I admit it or not, my followers have become more or less like a family so it just felt right. Later on, I lent a helping hand to my mum in the kitchen. Actually I left her there. There was an argument about the style of cooking. I wanted to try something new but she wasn’t so enthusiastic about it. Eventually I left her to suit herself and helped with minor chores. I wasn’t in the mood to argue.

In all, it wasn’t so much of a fun day,just a regular one with extra food. LOL. I’m glad I don’t attend one of those churches that have mandatory Christmas services. Not that I have anything against them. And as usual, I didn’t expect gifts and so I didn’t receive them. No hard feelings.

How did you spend your Christmas?

Love,food and kisses
EB.

Christmas wishlist maybe? No?

Hi there.

It’s 4 days to Christmas and wishlists seems to be flying left, right and centre. Ibukun of Shesoutofcontrol blog posted hers and it got me thinking.

”What exactly do I want for Christmas?”

Because of the loss of enthusiasm the period brings for me, I’m almost never bothered about gifts. Infact, I don’t think I’ve received any in the last 5 years or so. Wrong friends? Stingy relatives or what? I haven’t even made an effort on my part either. Smh. Be that as it may, I’m still gonna try my luck incase anyone still has me in their heart or is willing to let God use. I’m really skeptical about this because I might probably not get them for Christmas. Whatever the case is, they would move to my 2014 wishlist.

You see I’m a new photographer and I need new gears. Left to me, I wouldn’t mind any gear for Christmas even if it’s as little as a 32GB SD card. Yep! But I’m gonna be specific. Right now, I need
– Canon EOS Rebel T3i 18-55mm IS II Lens kit
– Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 II Lens

Other than that
– An android phone with a 4.3 Jelly Bean.
– Skater skirts in all colours.

If everything else fails, these will do just fine
– Hair products. Lots of them. They’re never too much.
-Silk scarves, beanies and spiral rings.
-Makeup!

It’s tangible right? No? Whatever.

What’s on your Christmas wishlist?

Toodles
EB.