”For God hath not given us the spirit of fear but of power,of love and sound mind”
– 2 Timothy 1v17
I think I’m the most paranoid person on earth.
I live in constant fear that something unpleasant will/can happen at any time. And I don’t wanna be caught unawares. I sort want to be expectant. I think about and expect the worse. I want to witness whatever it is that will happen.
Fear has become a
constant state of mind so much that living
without it is an anomaly. Subconsciously it just takes over and I find myself rebuking and rejecting. I’m convinced that God won’t allow any evil to befall His own but then the devil has a way of planting seeds of doubt in our hearts and I believe it’s up to us to determine whether or not it will germinate. Then again, paranoia can be really depressing. You literally hit rock bottom and feel that God has turned His back on you.
As amazing as 2013 was for me, this in particular was my biggest lowlight. This year, however difficult it might seem to be, God helping, I’ve resolved rise above that spirit of fear. Honestly, it’s a difficult feat because I’m faced with it on a daily basis, almost convinced that it’s a part of life so there’s really nothing that can be done. But I’m determined to rise above this feeling. It’s not something I want to dwell in.
So help me God.