How are y’all doing?
I think i’m gradually becoming a rebel or i am already; in a good way that is. So many things i wanna try out and experiment buh i can’t. Simply because the people in charge don’t agree and are against it. Now i’m stuck between obeying them and killing my ideas. At the end of the day,i end up frustrated! I think it’s safe to say that’s my present state of mind.
I go on social media and see my agemates doing something huge and i’m like what’s stopping me? I can do this! I wanna try it out. I’ve come to realise i’m more of a spontaneous person. I read stuff online and get obsessed with it. I wanna try my hands on it especially if the product in question is really cheap and readily avaliable. After all the excitement, i realise i can’t do it then it all boils down to frustration again! Mehn,it kills me!! 😦
These things happen day in day out and you’re sitting down wondering whether or not you’ve made the right decision by choosing to obey those in authority @ the expense of your own personal development. And these people don’t even care or pretend not to. Instead they just continue to condemn and criticize you sometimes even pouring their own personal frustrations on you. Then you have a double-dose. They fail to realize one isn’t getting younger. We need to start looking for ways to fend for ourselves. We need to become less-dependent and more independent.
Every now and then you’re lost in thoughts wondering when this ‘phase’ will be over. You are in a dire need of a breakthrough so to speak. You need to break-free! You need to stand on your own and work and earn a living! You need to implement your ideas and make amazing innovations! You need to pass this knowledge on to others so they can learn from it buh what do you get?? Neglect,Religion (figuratively) and Stagnation. 😐
You try to carry out a couple of ideas discreetly so you don’t invite unnecessary ‘sermons’. You don’t wanna be tagged ‘rebellious’. You wanna be a good girl and not cause trouble. Is that life? Being prevented from doing what you really desire @ the expense of pleasing them? *pfttt!
Then you realise you have no choice, all you do is to keep encouraging and telling yourself, ‘This is for a short while,it will pass’ and hoping someday you break-free and let the world know about you! 🙂
I really don’t know what’s unconsciously holding me down. All i know is i’m just sober,careful and waiting VERY patiently. I’ve come to realise this period is REALLY trying my patience. 😐