I just remembered him tonite and i decided to blog about it.
9 years ago, we (my family and i) moved to a new house. It was all a new experience especially because it was totally different from where we were coming from. While settling down,we were tried to get familiar with the place. After a couple of months,i think (can’t really remember), my brother and i were permanently grounded. i.e after careful observation of the environment. We weren’t allowed to visit or go out except we were sent on errands. When i look back now,i don’t think i blame them,because as at that time,they were a lot of boys/guys wondering around. Most of them were ‘jambites’ (people who have finished high school and are yet to gain admission into the uni). Well..they’ve all kinda disappered now. So because of our kind of upbringing,we werent allowed to associate with them. We were left with only our next-door-neighbours.
As a boy, my brother was the first to make friends with our neighbour ( there was a family with three boys,the last born is my agemate). Despite the age-difference between them, Dayo and my brother got off on the right foot. They became friends sharply! As for me,i continued to stay indoors until dayo’s brother tried to start a friendship or whatever it was @ at time. (An unserious somebody in my opinion). Anyways after all the senrenre,Dayo and i became friends too.
Dayo had this very cute best friend Ben. You know tall, fair and handsome kind of guy. Even @ that age, i was head over heels for him. He has the most beautiful pair of brown eyes eva!!! *phew! Well, the 3 of us became very good friends. Since they were neighbours (Ben lived somewhere around the estate tho) it was quite easy for them to hang out in my house when my parents were away.
Fast forward to a year later, Ben asked me out. *sigh. Everything was wrong with that proposal amean i was ‘underage’ sort of, was still in junior high and i wasn’t ready for any commitment of any sort. After several attempts i eventually obliged. It was soo wrong but it felt right. Then the rollercoaster journey began.
I had to go to school in a different state buh we made sure we kept in touch. Most times via phone calls @ dawn before i went to school,after i got back and @ night. The weekends gave us enough time to talk all through the night. So for like 3 months we wouldn’t see each other until i got back home for the holidays. It went on like for the next 4years or so.
Because we were always apart,i decided i wasn’t gonna give myself any form of headache as to whether or not he was cheating. i didn’t trust him and because of that we broke up several times buh still had a way of coming back together. Just recently i found out he had been cheating the whole time. I wasn’t bothered.
Ben was everything buh good news. He had issues;the kind of person that falls prey of peer pressure. He drank,smoked,womanized (i think) and very recently did drugs. And he had issues with his parents. I tried to console him. He also had ALL SORTS of friends. He was pretty popular. It was so bad that the elders in the estate knew him and kept their wards away. In Church he was a nuisance.(he only went because i was there). He was BAD news and he was my boyfriend. I was taking a very BIG risk dating him. *sigh*. Nobody knew except Dayo. I felt so sorry for him and had compassion on him.
Sometime ago, i heard that if u wanna change a ‘bad’ person,let the person he loves the most talk to him. (I dunno how true that is) Ben loved me so much. I actually believed him to an extent. So i took on the challenge. I decided i was gonna try my best to change him by making a positive impact in his life. I talked to him day & night,advised him,encouraged him,prayed for him buh to no avail. i didn’t see any visible improvement so 3 years ago i gave up and let go. I left him to his fate. Very recently,i cut all contacts to him. As i grew older, i realised no matter how much i tried if he doesn’t wanna change then no-one can change him.
I’ve left him to God and i try to pray for him you know because i believe someday i’m gonna see him and i’ll smile. I’m gonna be soo proud of him because of how he will turn out. 🙂