Couple or Housemates??

Ok so i’m here to vent and this can’t wait.

I come from a dysfunctional family. So many things are done wrong,misplaced priorities here and there. There’s little or no family bond. Just recently i heard a story about my parents that i’ve never heard before.
When my mom was done narrating ‘her story’, so many things began to make sense. It was then i realised one mistake,just one mistake can change your life positively or negatively. Sadly, in my parents’ case, it’s negatively.
Apparently, they had issues before they got married (some 22years ago). My dad made a terrible mistake and then went on to apologise to my mom who naively forgave him and went ahead to marry him.
Now, she regrets ever making that decision.
Before i heard this story, i felt something was wrong somewhere. They weren’t like the regular lovey-dovey couple who after so many years of being together were still madly in love with each other. They hardly even pass compliments (from what i’ve noticed) or share gifts or behave like a couple. It was like they were strangers or better still housemates. Their priorities changed. My mom was/is bent on taking care of us with/without my dad while he is ‘obsesssed’ with something else,ignoring his family duties. It’s like they despise each other and are only being tolerant because of us the children.
Wow! Such role models?
As i grew older, i began to notice this things because it was affecting us. My father wasn’t a ‘dad’ to us. He poured his love and affection to something else. Infact, we began to ‘hate’ him.
Right now my hatred is filled with so much bitterness and anger. The Holy Spirit just has a way of surpressing and keeping me in control so i don’t do things i’ll end up regretting.
My mum believes he’s bewitched and hasn’t given up praying for him. If she had her way, she would have left him long ago buh because of us.
I feel so sorry for her because she’s so unhappy. Things aren’t going the way it should. My biggest fear is that she will die without reaping the fruit of her labour. That’s something i can’t live with because she deserves soooo much more.
I actually stopped praying for my dad to change instead i handed him over to God and have redirected my prayers for my mom.
Even though i still love to see a big happy family, part of me has given up on that. It’s up to me now to learn from them and not have a repeat. I know i will find true happiness when i start my own family but for now….happiness,love,affection are just words!


4 thoughts on “Couple or Housemates??

  1. Don’t stop praying for love to blossom in your family, it is never too late a broken family to be healed again. Look at Joseph and his family, how messed is it that your own family sells you off like used furniture to total strangers!?! Those guys hated Joseph, yet God was brewing something behind the scenes, and Joseph forgave, and more that 20 years later, the whole family is re-united.

    So don’t stop praying, ask friends to pray with you and for you, we need people to help us. Form a prayer group, set a schedule date, make a target, maybe watch out weekly for tangible change , pray that God fills your own heart and the heart of all your family members with love that leads to dynamic change. Pray to know how to act out that love, and then you take the lead with love in your home.
    Love is a healer, and Words heal, it is not too late.

    I pray right now , for God’s love to fill all your hearts, and to heal all that was broken.

    God bless.

  2. I hardly comment on blogs but I cudnt just read this and let go cos ur my friend my Dear u can’t give up now u can’t stop praying for your family now!!! the honest truth is that there is no perfect family out there we all have our individual family struggles and wishes I read an article abt the American president and it says most of all the past American presidents had Dysfunctional family that’s to tell u its not just ur family iand the mistake of the past is the past u shud stop digging into the pains of yestday and look forward for to the best possibilities of today and tomorrow Ur mom still love and pray for her man u shud pray for ur dad too! The truth is the relationship of a girl child with her father plays /has a great impact positive/negative on her relationship with her husband likewise the relationship of a boy child to his mom and sisters so pls don’t stop caring, don’t stop loving , don’t stop praying!!!!! truth is family is everything u really have… push come to shove u will be left with family that’s the only unit that can’t deny you so do all u can to stay positive for them and pls stop sighing* celebrate the few things u love abt ur family and watch the joy u didn’t see return God is still in the business of fixing home and family
    And you are loved and Cherished don’t get it twisted and don’t sigh *straight face*
    God bless your dad and mom and their union , may the wisdom, favour, love and Grace of the lord rest on ur family Amen!
    Dare to believe and don’t sigh

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