Ok so i’m here to vent and this can’t wait.
I come from a dysfunctional family. So many things are done wrong,misplaced priorities here and there. There’s little or no family bond. Just recently i heard a story about my parents that i’ve never heard before.
When my mom was done narrating ‘her story’, so many things began to make sense. It was then i realised one mistake,just one mistake can change your life positively or negatively. Sadly, in my parents’ case, it’s negatively.
Apparently, they had issues before they got married (some 22years ago). My dad made a terrible mistake and then went on to apologise to my mom who naively forgave him and went ahead to marry him.
Now, she regrets ever making that decision.
Before i heard this story, i felt something was wrong somewhere. They weren’t like the regular lovey-dovey couple who after so many years of being together were still madly in love with each other. They hardly even pass compliments (from what i’ve noticed) or share gifts or behave like a couple. It was like they were strangers or better still housemates. Their priorities changed. My mom was/is bent on taking care of us with/without my dad while he is ‘obsesssed’ with something else,ignoring his family duties. It’s like they despise each other and are only being tolerant because of us the children.
Wow! Such role models?
As i grew older, i began to notice this things because it was affecting us. My father wasn’t a ‘dad’ to us. He poured his love and affection to something else. Infact, we began to ‘hate’ him.
Right now my hatred is filled with so much bitterness and anger. The Holy Spirit just has a way of surpressing and keeping me in control so i don’t do things i’ll end up regretting.
My mum believes he’s bewitched and hasn’t given up praying for him. If she had her way, she would have left him long ago buh because of us.
I feel so sorry for her because she’s so unhappy. Things aren’t going the way it should. My biggest fear is that she will die without reaping the fruit of her labour. That’s something i can’t live with because she deserves soooo much more.
I actually stopped praying for my dad to change instead i handed him over to God and have redirected my prayers for my mom.
Even though i still love to see a big happy family, part of me has given up on that. It’s up to me now to learn from them and not have a repeat. I know i will find true happiness when i start my own family but for now….happiness,love,affection are just words!