Why Me? :(

For some personal reasons, i don’t attend a regular school. This is supposed to be a sacrifice for a greater goal.Lately, ive been asking myself whether or not i made a right decision.If i had known,i would have just applied to a ‘regular school’ and left when necessary. At the same time, im tryna console myself because this has been a period of in depth self-discovery. Im definately not the same person i was a year ago.Ive been able to get to know the ‘real me’. It has been a bit scary buh i try as much as possible to be totally honest with myself.
One of the things i have discovered is my relationship with my parents. I watch movies a lot so ive an idea of what i want from my parents in terms of trust & attention. God knows i would have loved to have a ‘perfect’ relationship with them. i know,its not impossible. A situation where i can tell them almost everything and not turn to a bestie or a blog(no offense). On a scale of 1-10,our relationship is 4. Not even average. How sad :(. (I promised myself this won’t repeat itself with my children). So ive the general problem;they don’t understand me. So much that alot of my beliefs and values are hardly influenced by them. We have different doctrines & beliefs. Instead of trying to understand where im coming from they try to shove theirs down my throat.i mean they ave absolutely no idea what its like to grow up in this generation. They have this impression of me that’s totally contrary to who i really am.I feel for them cos this few times i still have with them they arnt even making an attempt.They feel because they are older they are always right which is totally wrong. Don’t get me wrong,i respect them a lot buh many a times i wish i had different parents who understood me perfectly. Inasmuch as i try to make them reason with me,they just dont. *sigh.
Then again i remember that all things work together for good to them that love the Lord. In the end i feel this is supposed to be a training process for me. Im not supposed to be totally reliable on my parents thereby ignoring God. If i have had ‘perfect parents’ i might not even be bothered with my relationship with God. I feel God has picked this issue to draw me closer to Him.What a big relief! *deep sigh*.


One thought on “Why Me? :(

  1. Right! Being older doesn’t mean u are automatically right all the time! *rolling my eyes* this really gets @ me

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